7 Things I Have Learnt Since Becoming A Mum

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Wow. I cannot believe Myla will be 1 on Sunday. This time last year I was heavily pregnant (9 days overdue to be exact) and doing anything and everything to get that baby out. Long walks, eating endless amounts of pineapple, lugging my 80KG plus butt up hills, drinking Red Rasberry Leaf Tea, the hanky panky, and eating as much hot food as possible to no avail. Myla was induced on the 6th of May at 9am and born on the 7th May at 8.20am. One minute I’m pregnant and thinking about life with a baby, the next I am doing life with a baby. So, what have I learnt since becoming a mama?

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1. What kind of mother I am.
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Every woman goes into motherhood with an idea of the kind of mum they want to be. Will I be strict? Will I spoil her? Will I be high strung or easy going? Will I let her go to sleepovers? When can she have a boyfriend? I knew from the get go that I was going to go with the flow. I had no idea what the hell I was doing; but I knew that this was the most important job of my life, and I wanted to be great. So after a year in the role; what kind of mother am I? I am the kind of mum that lets her daughter play in the sand. If Myla falls over I don’t run and pick her up, I encourage her to get back up and keep going. I am the kind of mother who doesn’t let a sleep routine stop us from going on a lunch date. I’m a firm believer in ‘socialising’ a baby. I love play dates and getting Myla used to being around people. I’m the kind of mum who will let Myla eat a biscuit after it’s fallen on the floor (10 second rule, right?). I am the kind of mother who will bite her fat rolls, kiss her a million times a day and tell her every other minute that I love her too much. I don’t know if this is the right way to be, but that’s me!
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2. I’m a picker-upper.
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Is that even a word? Anyway, pre Myla I always said I wouldn’t be one of those mums that is constantly holding their baby…and I wasn’t…sort of. OK I did, a lot, so fucking what? She is my first born after all. Do you really think that with baby number two I will have the option to rock him or her to sleep when I have Myla calling my name? I wanted to soak in every minute of baby goodness with Myla and I did. I loved having her take a nap in my arms. I would stare at her little face and smell her little head and just thank god for sending her to me. Plus, studies have shown that you can’t ‘spoil’ a baby, and that holding a baby more makes them less dependent on you. So fuck you haters, hold your baby as much as you friggin want.
3. Do not judge thy fellow mama.
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As human beings we love to judge each other. From what we wear to where we live. Prior to having Myla I had a list of ‘I will nots’. I will not let Myla watch TV for long periods of time, I will not let her use an iPad, I will not rock her to sleep, I will not let her eat junk food. What was I thinking? Since having Myla there has been more than one occasion in which I have put on The Wiggles so that I could tend to the washing, clean the house or even just have 10 minutes of me time. You really can’t judge other mamas! I didn’t give full time mums enough credit pre baby. It is so fucking hard. I have to raise a decent human being. I can’t slack off…ever. I can’t wake up one morning and think ‘fuck this, I’m sleeping in’. So, if hiring a babysitter once a week will keep you sane then do it. If paying someone to do your washing gives you some free time do it! And if your phone keeps your baby quiet long enough for you to talk to the checkout chick then use it. Unless you are beating your child or verbally abusing them then there is no need for those ‘perfect’ mums to pass judgement. I will not judge other mamas.
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4. My Insta-love
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Ill confess that I am utterly obsessed with taking photos of Myla, with Myla and documenting our days. I have mentioned previously that I suffer from Obsessive Baby Photo Capture Disorder (OBPCD) and I still do. Prior to falling pregnant the Insta-mum community I found became my Google. If I had a question, they would answer it. I loved watching their mini me’s grow through those tiny squares and learn from their experiences. I thoroughly enjoy sharing my journey with Myla…and if in doing so I can make someone else feel at ease about their journey, then that’s a bonus.
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5. Friendship.
True friends are hard to find. Thankfully, I have always had the same core group of girlfriends who have become my extended family. They know who they are. The women in my life who have been there for me when I needed them, loved and spoiled Myla a little too much (ha!) and are genuinely happy to be in our lives and watch her grow. I did worry pre Myla that I might be stuck in my own baby bubble and those friendships would fizzle. Luckily my girlfriends are amazing, accommodating, and if anything; simply use me to get to Myla! There have been some acquaintances along the way that have drifted as a result of their own insecurities, but cest la vie. My core group remains strong, has my back and loves my girl.
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6. I am my mother’s daughter.
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You don’t realise how much your parents influence you until you have your own children. I certainly am my mother’s daughter. I literally recite word for word lines my mother used on me to Myla. This is definitely not a bad thing. My mum is a great mum. She was strict, but great. She would give us a smack on the bum when needed (controversial for 2017, I know). No matter where we went, we were to greet people when we entered their home. We weren’t to touch anything that wasn’t ours to touch. We would only accept food or drink if offered, we were never to ask. If we chucked a tantrum at the shops, just wait until we got home (uh oh). We had rules and if those rules were broken there would be consequences. Call me old fashioned but I agree with a lot that my mama did. Not everything, but a lot…even though at the time I wanted to kill her!
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7. Happiness
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So this is what happiness feels like! Don’t get me wrong, I was happy before; but Myla has brought another level of bliss to our lives. Sure, there are things that I may want still but I’m only human. I love waking up in the morning to my Myla alarm clock. I love that I get kicked in the kidneys or face when we have sleepovers. I love that a simple game of peek-a-boo makes her scream in delight. I love watching my hubby make Myla laugh. I love watching Myla’s face light up when her Tata comes walking through the door after a long day of work. I love watching her learn how to touch her nose, clap her hands or point to her mouth. I love my little family and cant (maybe in a year) wait for it to grow!

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