10 Things A New Parent Needs To Know

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1. Forget the Birth Plan

Now I don’t mean to offend anyone, but the idea of having a birth plan baffles me. Even if this is your second, third or forth time in the ring, you will never know what will happen and how your body or baby is going to react. My pregnancy was honestly perfect. I wasn’t sick, I wasn’t uncomfortable (until I got to 10 days past my due date) and I had no health issues, therefore assuming I would have zero complications during labour. Well…Myla had episodes of bradycardia through every contraction and my cervix did not dilate past 4cm. My so called “birth plan” went flying out the window just as quickly as I was pushed down hallways to my unplanned emergency C-section. How’s that for a birth plan?

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2. Talk to Someone

Whether it be your husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, mum or hairdresser, SERIOUSLY talk to someone! This parenting gig is hard. You can prepare the nursery, hospital bag and your home, but you can’t prepare yourself emotionally. This crying, pooping and feeding bundle of joy changes your life, way more than ever anticipated. The first week of being a mum I cried more than Myla and for the silliest of reasons. My husband may have thought I was cray, but he was my rock. If I didn’t have him to talk to, I might’ve ripped my hair out and run down the street butt naked screaming Hail Mary’s!!
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3. (Coarse language disclaimer) Who gives a fuck – Do whatever works for you

There is no right way to parent. As long as that baby is loved, fed and changed than you are doing a great friggin job, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Who gives a fuck if you can’t breastfeed. Who gives a fuck if you put the Wiggles on to give you ten minutes of uninterrupted time to get shit done. Who gives a fuck if you rock that baby to sleep every night. And who gives a fuck if your house looks like Cyclone Tracey just passed through – housework will always be there, moments with your new born wont.
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4. Don’t buy all the extra baby gismos. Trust me!

 I ignored all the bloggers and mums on the forums and bought anything and everything a baby may need – idiot! Here is my list of crap that I wish I could return:
  • Baby bath – we used it only a handful of times, then found the sink and bath worked just fine.
  • 3 in 1 Ingenuity baby swing  – this thing looked like a space ship and it should stay out of this world! My Bombol Bamboo Bouncer would have sufficed but no, I needed the swing.
  • Swaddles – had about a million and baby girl hated being swaddled…although I did end up using them as vomit cloths haha
  • Newborn shoes – ok so I know we get a little carried away at dressing up our mini mes, however shoes for a newborn…what was I thinking?
  • Bath thermometer – it ran out of battery 2 months in and the elbow and common sense have worked fine since!
  • Baby puree recipe book – are you that bad at cooking that you need to be told step by step how to steam some vegetables?
  • Oricom heart monitor – within the first week of using it, it went off 3 times! All of which were false alarms. I ended up turning it off…me shitting my pants every time it went off, was doing more harm than good.

5. Obsessive Baby Photo Capture Disorder or OBPCD

It’s a real thing. I was one of those women who judged those parents on my Facebook feed who posted a million photos of their baby; but obsessive OBPCD is real. My Myla is the cutest baby to ever walk the earth and everything she does makes me smile, therefore it needs to be captured, documented and posted for the entire world to see. If you don’t like it – unfriend me. I don’t need that kind of negativity in my life.
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6. You are about to see everything in an amazing new light

Who knew that a fart could make you laugh with joy, or a poo could make you rejoice! Everything your child does is truly amazing. The first time she smiled at us (without wind) was breathtaking. She truly makes our world a better place. As adults in a busy world we sometimes forget to appreciate the little things, a baby changes that.
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7. You can’t please everyone so please yourself first

I thought negotiations for my wedding day was tough but that’s nothing in comparison to having a baby. Once a baby is born everyone wants to tell you how to raise her, who gets to babysit, how the christening should go, how often you should hold her and what food she should eat. My attitude on this– please yourself first. Now I’m not saying I know everything and everyone should “shove it”. All I am saying is, if you’ve made a decision about something and are happy …then stick to it. This is your turn to be the mum and rule your roost, those that love and respect you will get over it.
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8. Sleep deprivation isn’t that bad

Remember when you were pregnant and all you would hear was “you’ll never sleep again” or “you don’t know what tired is”. Well, I might be hung for saying this, but sleep deprivation isn’t that bad. Studies have shown that the average Australian adult gets less than seven hours sleep a night, so what’s all the fuss about. It may help that Myla was a great night sleeper from day one. She initially woke up twice a night, soon after she would wake for only one feed, and now at eight months old, she sleeps from 6-6. In 2016 I had multiple friends have babies and only one of those babies were challenging in the sleep department. Based on my circle of friends. One out of five babies are pretty good odds.
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9. Plan a family vacay

If you can afford to, I highly recommend going on a family vacay. We went to Hamilton Island when Myla was 6 months old and it was amazing! The flight was short, the destination was family friendly and the memories made will last a lifetime. My husband and I have always been big on holidays. We try to go somewhere every year and want to continue this as our family expands. A holiday refreshes the mind, relaxes the body and makes the daily work grind worth it. It was also extra special for dad, he got a break from work and got to spend one on one time with his girls.
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10. The love you will feel for this human is like no other

The love that I felt for Myla was truly indescribable. The moment I saw her little face screaming bloody murder when she was born, was a moment I’ll never forget. Now don’t get me wrong…I love my husband deeply but the love you feel for your child is like no other and I am sure he would agree. As Ryan Reynold said “The second I looked into that baby’s eyes, I knew in that exact moment that if we were ever under attack, I would use my wife as a human shield to protect that baby”. I would gladly be that shield.

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